Ryan 32

Foreword: In 2004, I kept these posts on a separate blog. I wanted a place to write about my true feelings about Ryan that no one else would read. In 2007, I revisited these posts. and decided to add them to the archives. It's part of my past that is worth remembering especially the honesty with which I wrote these posts.

Tonight Ryan was so sweet. He told me that I was special. Out of context it sounds goofy, but in context it was incredibly sweet. For Ryan, it was a huge show of emotion. It made me cry.

I've come to realize that Ryan shows very little emotion. He doesn't talk about his feelings a lot. It's certainly different. I could see why someone would want to get out of a relationship like that. It would be hard day in and day out to not get confirmation that he loves you. Shoot, it's hard for me and I don't even think Ryan loves me. I just wonder sometimes if he likes me.

The wonderful part is that tonight I know he likes me. I know he has feelings for me. While they might not be as deep as I want them to be, it's something. For the first time in a long time, I feel loved. It's quite wonderful.