Ryan 28

Foreword: In 2004, I kept these posts on a separate blog. I wanted a place to write about my true feelings about Ryan that no one else would read. In 2007, I revisited these posts. and decided to add them to the archives. It's part of my past that is worth remembering especially the honesty with which I wrote these posts.

I'm feeling awful about Ryan this morning. Night before last we were chatting and he asked what I did for fun. I told him Scotty came over and cooked dinner for Kristen, Leia, and I. Naturally there was an awkward feeling and he asked who Scotty was. Though, I know he knows who Scotty is, because we've talked about him before. I suppose he was trying to give me a chance to tell him that I'm dating Scotty, but I didn't. I wanted to but it felt too weird. Then the moment was gone.

Ryan was going out last night with coworkers, but I told him I wanted to talk anyhow. I told him that it wouldn't be too late to call and he indicated he would. When I was falling asleep at 11 o'clock, I decided I didn't want to be bothered and turned off my phone. This morning I expected to have a voice mail, but I didn't.