Overwhelmed

With my new position at work and finals steadily approaching, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. Why am I doing this to myself? Why have I bought into all of this corporate American success? Really I just want to be mediocre. I want to go to work, not care, do a half-ass job, then come home and play video games. Heck, I'd be happy with no job and just playing video games all day long. Wouldn't I?

Ok, so I know myself better than that. I wouldn't be happy at all, but right now it seems that anything would be better than this. All of this stuff hanging over my head. I'm doing the best that I can. Really. What if I'm not cut out for all of it? What if I fail both finals and get kicked out of school? Then my boss realizes I'm worthless, can't live up to his expectations and he fires me? Then I guess I really would be staying home and playing video games. See, really my fate just comes down to video games after all.

< begin internal dialog >Think positive, Erica! It's not that bad. Sure you have lots to study, but you understand this material WAY better than you did the first half of the semester and you passed those exams. Work is going fine and it just feels really hard right now. Very soon everything at work will fall into place, you'll get your groove, and you'll show everyone that you really are the right person for the job. So just like Karen said, little steps. < end internal dialog >

Hey, it can't be all that bad, right? Besides, I just learned my economics exam only covers the second half of the material instead of being cumulative like I thought. Then when all of this is over, I get a two week break before starting it all over again.

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