Month of November, 2004

Pick Up Lines

"This time next year, lets be laughing together."
"Is your daddy a terrorist? Cause you the bomb!!"

- via Hwa

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Towel Dilemna

Greg Stankavich wants to know if you are a single or multi-use bath towel consumer. In other words, do you use the towel mutliple times or only once before you wash it? (Please state your gender if it's not evident from your name.)

Kader and Greg are single users.
Amy and Erica are multiple users...to conserve energy and water. (In no way intended to bias your answer.)

Kader and Greg are also one-time underwear users...in case you were wondering. We all wonder what Mike Shaw does.

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Quote of the Day

"Have some self-respect."

- Kristen, about a guy calling who she told she didn't want to date

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Science for Drunks

Oh My God It Burns
Hilarious science experiment about filtering vodka with a Brita. What did we ever do before the Internet?

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Quote of the Day

"What's that song, 'Put The Dogs Out'?"

- Mom, in reference to the song, "Who Let The Dogs Out"

Saturday Night's MBA Holiday Party

I had an absolute blast at the school holiday party this year. It was so great hanging out with my friends and their wives. This picture is of me and my closest guy friends from school - Charlie, Mike, Aaron, and Dale. These men and their wives are incredible. I made a pledge that night that in 10 years we will all get together again and compare notes. I can't wait to hear about everyone's ride.

Index of slides & Slides

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Friday Night with Cindy

Friday night Cindy came up from Austin. I hadn't seen Cindy since going through Austin on the way to tubing in August. It was a ton of fun to catch up with her. We went to my favorite sushi place, but there was a wait so we went down to the maritini bar to have a drink. We eventually ate way too much sushi (even though I can hardly believe there really is such as thing as too much sushi). On the way home we swung by Caves Lounge for a drink and we ran into Leska. That was a nice surprise. Then we sat on the couch at LucciHouse talking until we were practically asleep. What a perfect girl night!

I'm sick.

I started feeling really bad yesterday after lunch. I got in bed about 3pm and slept. By 7pm, I thought I was going to die. My throat hurt so bad I cried. Then I fell back asleep until morning. Obviously, I didn't go to work this morning. Just got back from the doctor's office where I was diagnosed with strep throat. I got a big penicillin shot, so in 24 hours I won't be contagious any more.

By the way, Kristen is the best nurse ever! She's been taking great care of me the past couple days. She brings fresh water on a regular basis. She briought food. She is wonderful and I never would have made it through this without her!

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Antimagnet

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Quote of the Day

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming ~ WOO HOO what a ride!"

- quote sent to me byMia

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Sorry

Sorryeverybody.com

An extremely powerful site where people apologize through pictures for Americans voting for Bush a second term.

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Small World

At lunch today, I was approached by Jay Allen. Jay and I went to the same small private school in elementary and junior high. He's a few years older than me so we weren't actually friends, just acquaintances. I got reacquainted with Jay a couple years ago when he started reading my blog and sent email. Even though we live in the same city, we hadn't seen each other. Today at TGIFridays, he recognized me and stopped to say hello. It was quite a pleasant surprise, because Jay is totally hot now. Not that I really remember what he looked like when we were younger. Plus, I got a good laugh out of the waiter asking if that was a common occurrence - running into people I went to elementary/junior high with. You know, it's more common that you'd expect.

Friday I got email from Heath, a boyfriend of mine when I was 19. Heath found me on Friendster and sent a note just catching up. It was so awesome because I've been wondering for YEARS what happened to him. I sent him my phone number because there was no way we were going to catch up on 8 years over email. So Friday night he called and we talked for two hours. It sounds like he's doing really well. He moved to NYC where he teaches art to high schoolers and he's engaged to be married. I'm so happy for him.

Life is really quite cosmic right now. All these wonderful people are coming back into my life right now and it just seems to mean something. I'm just not sure what it means yet.

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Tiger's Spot

When I got home after class tonight, I found Tiger in my bed on all the clean clothes. Isn't he just the most adorable thing ever?!

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Ballsy Guest Speaker

The guest lecturer in class tonight managed to slip in two slightly off-color references. This was the first time I've experienced anything like that in b-school. It was awesome.

In discussing Sarbaines-Oxley, he said, "If you were a CEO, would there be any significant parts of your body that tighten up?" Later he said in reference to initial public offerings, "That's the kind of thing that makes investment bankers stiff."

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Text Messages

I've joined the world of the hip and cool. I finally figured out where people can send me text messages.

my name @vtext.com
(that would be both my first and last names no spaces)

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Christmas is Coming

Kristen and Leia started decorating for Christmas last night. Technically it's only 11 days early. Yet it somehow bothers me. I think it has something to do with it only feeling cold here a couple days ago. We turned the heat on for the first time yesterday.

But I can't deny that Thanksgiving is around the corner and then it will really feel like the holidays. I'm ready too. I want to eat special food like turkey and stuffing and yams and nuts! I want to drive around and look at Christmas lights. I want to wear mittens. I want to spend time with the special people in my life. (Christian, I can't wait for your visit.)

And I'm ready for the holiday parties! I love attending, but my favorite party is the one we throw at LucciHouse. So, put it on your calendar - Saturday, December 11th, is the 4th annual LucciHouse Christmas Party. I can't wait to see you there!

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Dreams

I dreamt I lost a tooth.
I dreamt I drove too fast and got in a wreck. Then I told myself that I always drive too fast in my dreams.

But I'm all caught up on my sleep now. Feels good.

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Ryan 34

Foreword: In 2004, I kept these posts on a separate blog. I wanted a place to write about my true feelings about Ryan that no one else would read. In 2007, I revisited these posts. and decided to add them to the archives. It's part of my past that is worth remembering especially the honesty with which I wrote these posts.

I told Ryan that I love him. He doesn't love me.

Ryan says that he cares about me a lot. He said he's only truly cared about a few women in his life and I'm one of them. But he says that he simply can't say "I love you" to anyone other than his son and his family. (And I don't think he says it to them very often.) He said that he thinks he's broken in this way. But I love him anyhow. My love is not dependent on whether he loves me back. I just love him. There's really nothing in my power to change that.

Things have been changing between Ryan and I since I was in Germany. During that trip, I decided that I didn't want to keep spending the time and energy on a relationship that isn't going anywhere. I was frustrated that he wasn't planning a trip to see me. I decided to move on. So I signed up for match.com in order to meet and date some men in my own city. Then when I got back home, I stopped calling Ryan every night. Our phone calls are down to once or twice a week. He's been showing more interest by instant messaging me on a regular basis, but that's about it. There was definitely some distance growing between us. While it was hard to let that happen, I knew I had to do it for my sanity. I simply didn't want to be obsessed with Ryan when he obviously wasn't that into me.

The conversation we had Thursday night changed my perspective on a lot of things. It all started when we were instant messaging and he suggested I call him. So in the car after work, I called. I was on my way to a date with Andy, a guy I met on Match.com, and I decided to tell Ryan that. He was definitely unsettled about it, but accepting. The date didn't go very well (Andy was just not my type) and I called Ryan on the way home. Ryan was obviously pleased that the date didn't go well and conversation just spawned from there. I explained to Ryan that I was frustrated that he wasn't planning on visiting me and that I knew I had to move on. I decided the best thing for me to do was date men in my own city. He said that he understood and that he just wanted me to be happy. He said he understands wanting someone closer, but that he'd be upset if I ended up dating someone else long distance.

We talked about our relationship and how much we like each other. But that it's frustrating and it is what it is...a long distance thing. We talked about what we want - for the first time, Ryan actually told me that he wants me in his life and values my friendship. I told him that I wanted him as a friend and as a lover. He said he wanted me as a lover too.

We talked about wanting to be friends for a long time, no matter what happens between us. I would be very happy for Ryan if he found someone else. I would be sad for me, but accepting. I have really good perspective on this relationship. I think relationships/love are about the journey not the destination. So I don't think this is about getting married or settling down or finding that one person. For me, my relationship with Ryan is a life-long thing. He has shown me that I can love again. He's shown me that I'm not going to be alone for the rest of my life...I will always have love in my life. I truly believe Ryan's role is my life was to show me that I can love. It doesn't matter that he doesn't love me back. It only matters that I am finally feeling real love again.

I'm such a creature of action. I keep thinking that I want to do SOMETHING. Unfortunately, there's nothing to do. There's no reason to do anything. Though Ryan was very sweet and understanding that if I wanted it to, things between us could change. I told him that I've changed things enough to satisfy me right now. I just have to remember that this is just part of the process. Time takes care of all things.

In time, I expect that Ryan and I will completely shift to friends. It's simply too difficult to be in love with someone that doesn't love you back. It's simply not right. I believe that I'm not the right person for Ryan long term. Eventually he will meet the woman who he will really fall in love with. And I'll be so happy for him. I can't/won't choose to be with someone who doesn't love me. I can't fix him. But that's ok, it just isn't meant to be.

Phone Pics

I cleaned out my cell phone the other day and thought I'd share all the pictures I took of myself.

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Shane Bartell

Isn't this a lovely picture? It's of Shane Bartell, the musician. It's funny how the Internet can take you across something you totally didn't expect to find. For me it was this picture.

I met Shane on my birthday in March 2002 in Austin. We hit it off immediately and had some great conversations. It was really fun to run across his website today and bring back memories of the time we met. I'm listening to his music, which I never heard before, and it's wonderful. You should go listen. I hope Shane is doing well and I hope our paths cross again someday.

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Quote of the Day

"The fact you can't have love without insecurity and vulnerability blows! That's why I don't like being in love."
- Kristen

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Texas De Brazil

Last night, Kader and Greg took Amy and I to Texas de Brazil. Wow, what a meal! If you haven't been to a churrascaria before, you really should go. There's nothing quite like having meat on skewers brought directly to your table and it's the best tasting meat you've ever had. Of course all of the food was incredible. By the end of the evening we were stuffed. A walk around downtown Fort Worth after dinner ended the evening perfectly.

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20x2

I had an incredible weekend. Donald and I drove to Austin Saturday afternoon to attend 20x2 - Kevin and Jeff's brainchild. The show was awesome as it always is. I got to hang out with many, many old friends that I haven't seen in a very long time. It was wonderful! For more pictures, go to the slides.

Friday night I had the distinct pleasure of going minature golfing with Scotty. It was the perfectly cool, fall evening. Well, it was perfect excpet for the fact Scotty beat me! Don't let the dreads fool you, he's a killer golfer. Then we went home and watched Scratch, a documentary on hip hop DJs. It was very, very good! I learned all sorts of neat cultural stuff including that Mix Master Mike is an alien. You should see this movie.

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Music at Work = Happiness

A coworker shared her music folder with me today, and I'm totally happy sitting here plugging away. I've forgotten how wonderful it is to don the headphones and jam away. Right now I'm listening to Erasure and totally feel like I'm in high school again! It's fantastic.

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20x2

Are you going to 20x2 this weekend?

Austin, TX. Tambaleo (302 Bowie St.).
Sat. Nov. 6th, 2004, 7-9 pm.
Article in The Daily Texan
See you there!

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Election Results - Depressing

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Election Jitters

So I don't ever remember ever feeling like this on election day. I'm nervous, distracted, worried. I can't focus. I extremely anxious to know the outcome. I almost wish I was working the polls to watch and listen. I want to know what's happening! I'm impatient. Mostly I'm worried that we're going to have a repeat of last year and end up in court. That would be really, really bad. Oh well, I guess we'll find out tomorrow.

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Happy Birthday, Kristen!!

Kristen turns 24 today.

Elections & Day of the Dead

Does anyone else find it interesting that tomorrow is the Presidential Election in the United States and Day of the Dead in Mexico?

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