Hi. My name is Erica
Hi. My name is Erica and I'm a chat-aholic.
Let me start with some background. When I was a freshman in college, before the Internet really existed, I was introduced to IRC (Internet Relay Chat). Some of you probably know it, kinda like BBS's, but unfortunately not as cool. Anyhow, I got sucked in. BAD. I would stay up until all hours on the night talking about nothing with people through the computer. I would be exhausted day after day but I couldn't stop. It was exciting and interesting, and I was addicted.
Eventually, chatting on the computer lost it's appeal to me. I don't know if I found more friends or if I got too busy with school or if I just couldn't live without sleeping (you know how much sleep means to me). But I stopped. Since then, I've chatted on and off but nothing to the extent that freshman year. These days I only chat to keep up with my friends in other places and it's just like talking on the phone only cheaper.
Well, that was up until Monday.
Monday I discovered video chatting. It's just like a traditional chat room (now isn't that a funny thing to say?) except that you can watch up to 8 people at the same time you talk with them. This is, of course, assuming that they have webcams, which most do. Let me just confess that the voyeur in me LOVES this. I absolutely love watching people, especially perfect strangers. And while I'm confessing, I guess I should say that I don't mind being watched too much either. Don't get the wrong idea, this isn't a kinky thing for me. Though there are a lot of people who are naked or want to see naked people, I don't join in. I just can't. It's not sexy or romantic or naughty. It's just bodies. (And usually bodies of older men...not my thing.)
The thing that really gets me is being able to have a conversation with a stranger AND being able to see them. It's like walking up to someone in the mall and just having a conversation. Except we have the padding of the computer to make us comfortable. You don't have to talk. You don't have to watch. And you can always hang up when you've had too much or get offended or are bored or just don't care. It's all in fun, at least for me.
I think one of the major reasons video chatting is so much fun for me is because I'm young and cute. (I'm not saying I'm beautiful or drop-dead gorgeous...just cute...I'm not that far disconnected from reality...yet.) The past two days I've gotten a lot of attention from men all over the world because I am young and cute...and they can see me. What an incredible ego boost this is for me! Perfect strangers finding me attractive...not something I get to experience very often. I mean, when was the last time someone came up to you in the grocery store and said, "You've got a great smile!"? See, that's what I mean by the computer "padding" - people feel comfortable saying things they wouldn't normally say. Of course, this has a negative side to it too. When was the last time a perfect stranger asked you to take your clothes off?
So I've gotten sucked in. I feel addicted. I think about going home to chat. I think about the people I chatted with yesterday. I have an overwhelming desire to watch people and chat. And I haven't done anything very productive since I discovered video chatting! It makes my heart beat faster. I want it like I wanted alcohol after the first time I got drunk...a desire that is deep in my belly. And I don't care about anything other than video chat!
Ok, I'm not that bad but I could be.
This addiction will probably be like many other addictions in my life - short lived. I simply do not have an addictive personality. After the first time I got drunk, I wanted alcohol so badly. So I drank a few more times and it wore off. Even in the height of my college drinking career, I found the depth of my alcoholism...it's about 4 drinks deep. And just like when I first fell in love with chatting, this too will wear off.
But in the meantime, like any good addict, I will video chat and feel guilty about it the whole time.
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