Content

Haven't blogged much recently. Let me rephrase that. I haven't blogged much content recently. I feel like I'm stuck in a bubble. I've created my own little surreal internet world and I seldom leave it. I have a couple friends that I only talk to online. I jump from page to page reading about people's lives that I don't even know. I spend all day at work doing this and then hours at home as well. I talk to friends but it's always on the phone which is yet another extension of technology. If I didn't live with my parents and my sisters didn't stop by, I wouldn't be surprised if I never spoke to anyone in person.

Last week I was completely content that my life revolved around a little box but as of last night, I'm not so happy. My "real life" friends are even teasing me about the amount of time I spend online. I think it all hit me when Adam made some sort of comment last night about "going online again?" Nothing big, just a comment in passing. But it helped me realize that I'm predictable and pathetic. My life has become ALL about the computer. How quickly things change in just a few months. I'm not sure what I need to do but I think I need some time off. The real question is can I do it? Can I really turn my machine off and leave it off? Can I find something else to occupy my time? Can I actually have a meaningful conversation face to face?

I guess I'm being a bit hard on myself. Friday afternoon Jason and I had lunch. We talked and talked just like we always do. Face to face. So I'm not as bad as I feel. I just need some balance in my life. Hopefully Tuesday, Dustin and I will be able to get together and paint like we have planned. Then Thursday afternoon, I'm off to New Orleans for the weekend with Gena, a friend from childhood who lives in Houston. (Why do all my girl friends live in other cities?) It will be good to get away and hang out with a real live person...and a woman at that!

So I'm going to throw myself into work on the house tonight and probably Wednesday night as well. Maybe I'll get a break on Tuesday to make some art with Dustin. Then I'll run away from technology for the weekend. Maybe I'll even start looking for a job with normal hours so I can see real people (other than my family) on a regular basis. In the meantime, I'm going to read a book.