Rambling this Morning

My name has been removed from John's web page. I think that's a good thing. I need to let go and move on. Obviously he has. It's just hard because I'm still in love with him. Or at least the idea of him. Yeah, I think it's the idea of him.

Wanting someone like I want John is not healthy.

He was in my dreams last night. I don't know exactly what they were about but I know he was there. It's a shame we can't turn off parts of our brains. Or just delete a specific file. Memories will always be there as twisted and crazy as they are.

It's Friday. I'm sad today and it's overcast (again). We've been having crazy weather for this time of year in Texas. I'm so ready for spring (even summer) to get here! Just make it quit raining! I'm so glad I don't live in Seattle...I'd probably stay in bed for the rest of my life. That wouldn't be so bad if I could just work from home. Jason and I were joking about that the other day. He said I should get a big flat screen to hang on the wall so I could lay in bed with a wireless keyboard and mouse but still be connected. Then of course we laughed about him coming over to change my IV and bedpan because I'd never get out of bed. I should pull a publicity stunt like that. Though I don't think my parents would appreciate it too much since it's their house and all.

Almost finished up my taxes last night. It looks like I'm going to owe the government some money. THAT SUCKS. I'm really happy that I live in a country whose government takes care of so many things so I don't really mind paying taxes. It's just hard to write a check to the US government. I'd rather they just take it out of my paycheck so I never see the money at all. Besides, doesn't all the money I lost in the stock market in the past few months count for something?! Yeah, yeah, I know it doesn't but I wish it did. Hey, at least I have money...I could be a lot worse off.

Last night I cleaned out my shower drain. It's a totally disgusting job but it's got to be done. I was sick of standing in 2 inches of water by the end of my 4 minute shower. Last night it appeared to be running smoothly and quickly. Then when I showered this morning, I realized the problem is not completely solved. Actually it's worse. When I left the house there was a whole inch of water not going anywhere in my shower. Wonder if it will still be there when I get home.